I’ve been slowly but surely recovering from what some people have suggested might be the dreaded swine flu. I’m not so convinced.
But it would make for a great T-Shirt, no?
“I went to Washington DC, and all I got was this lousy case of swine flu.”
Between the illness and the fact that I am now preparing at work for an event that will either make me a *star* or will seal my fate as the cutest illegal immigrant housekeeper Lilu and B ever have*, I have let a few things slide.
On Saturday, I decided that it was a good day to clean up the leper colony Shoebox. You know, open the windows, do the laundry, take out the snotty tissues trash.
Goal: Find gloves that are undoubtedly lost somewhere in giant pile of sick-girl unwashed laundry. Or under the bed. Or somewhere.
During the search, I come across the envelope (that I had been keeping in a safe, hidden location), containing my subscription tickets to the Canadian Opera Company. What can I say, I like a little culture from time to time.
I open the envelope.
“Madama Butterfly…two tickets for…Friday, October 23rd, 7:30 p.m.”
Epic scheduling fail.
New Goal: Organize calendar on blackberry/Outlook* to include important, expensive events like the Opera.
Opera tickets, meet shredder.
This is almost as bad as forgetting my PIN number while standing at the checkout line at the LCBO on Friday. Nothing says “early onset of Alzheimer’s” quite as much as having a complete brain freeze while holding two bottles of wine in your hand.
“Here’s a tip,” the cashier oh-so-helpfully supplied as the words “FINAL TRY” appeared on the card reader, “You may want to synchronize all of your PIN numbers so that you don’t forget.”
Really? Thanks for that helpful fucking hint, Heloise. Here’s one for you: You may want to consider keeping your “tips” to yourself before I breathe the swine flu onto you.
“Uhhhh,” I stammered instead. “Lemme give you cash.”
* Now, THAT’s a sitcom waiting to be written.
** If you have sent me an email or a Facebook message over the course of the past, oh say…month…I promise you are getting really close to getting a response.