27
Oct
09

Today is Tuesday, right?

I’ve been slowly but surely recovering from what some people have suggested might be the dreaded swine flu.  I’m not so convinced.

But it would make for a great T-Shirt, no?

“I went to Washington DC, and all I got was this lousy case of swine flu.”

Between the illness and the fact that I am now preparing at work for an event that will either make me a *star* or will seal my fate as the cutest illegal immigrant housekeeper Lilu and B ever have*, I have let a few things slide.

On Saturday, I decided that it was a good day to clean up the leper colony Shoebox.  You know, open the windows, do the laundry, take out the snotty tissues trash. 

Goal:  Find gloves that are undoubtedly lost somewhere in giant pile of sick-girl unwashed laundry.  Or under the bed.  Or somewhere. 

During the search, I come across the envelope (that I had been keeping in a safe, hidden location), containing my subscription tickets to the Canadian Opera Company.  What can I say, I like a little culture from time to time. 

I open the envelope.

“Madama Butterfly…two tickets for…Friday, October 23rd, 7:30 p.m.”

Last night.

“Fuck.”

Epic scheduling fail.

New Goal:  Organize calendar on blackberry/Outlook* to include important, expensive events like the Opera.

Opera tickets, meet shredder.

This is almost as bad as forgetting my PIN number while standing at the checkout line at the LCBO on Friday.   Nothing says “early onset of Alzheimer’s” quite as much as having a complete brain freeze while holding two bottles of wine in your hand.  

“Here’s a tip,” the cashier oh-so-helpfully supplied as the words “FINAL TRY” appeared on the card reader, “You may want to synchronize all of your PIN numbers so that you don’t forget.”

Really?  Thanks for that helpful fucking hint, Heloise.  Here’s one for you: You may want to consider keeping your “tips” to yourself before I breathe the swine flu onto you.

“Uhhhh,”  I stammered instead.  “Lemme give you cash.”

 

 

* Now, THAT’s a sitcom waiting to be written.

** If you have sent me an email or a Facebook message over the course of the past, oh say…month…I promise you are getting really close to getting a response.

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14 Responses to “Today is Tuesday, right?”


  1. October 27, 2009 at 1:40 pm

    Hmm, Heloise’s tip isn’t all that tip-worthy. I mean, don’t they say you actually SHOULDN’T sync up all of your pins/passwords?? For security purposes??

    Regardless, glad to hear you’re soon to be back, fully, among the living. 🙂

  2. October 27, 2009 at 2:11 pm

    At least if you call it the “plu” like f.B, it sounds cuter. Also fits better on the T shirt. 😉

    • 5 shoeboxdweller
      October 27, 2009 at 5:17 pm

      How about if the t-shirt says “I went to LiLu’s party and all I got was a lousy case of the swine flu”? It would make you even more infamous.

  3. 6 Marie
    October 27, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    I really hope you’re feeling better and that it wasn’t swine flu. When you get sick, everything just goes out of whack, doesn’t it? hugs

  4. October 27, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    Ah the number of things I have “put in a safe place” never to see again. And if i do it is usually after someone else finds them…so apparently I’m just trying to keep them safe from myself.

    Hopefully your leprosy, i mean flu, will be miraculously cured post haste.

  5. October 27, 2009 at 6:17 pm

    Ugh, this stupid swine flu.

    I just wish it would pass so that way less people die than the regular flu and everybody can fucking get over it and the drug companies can stop propagating hysteria to sell more drugs.

  6. October 27, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    Glad you’re feeling better. Sucks you missed the opera, sounds like it would have been a good one. I can be the same way sometimes with tickets. On the way to a concert once, I realized I didn’t have the tickets … after making fun of a friend who’d forgotten concert tickets the year before.

    I now have one of those magnetic clips on the back of my front door where I hang upcoming tickets. For instance, tonight’s Capitals v. Flyers tix are there right now. Not that I, as a Pens fan, really care who actually wins beyond saying “Go Caps” because Philly is in Pittsburgh’s division.

    • 13 shoeboxdweller
      October 27, 2009 at 8:38 pm

      Follow up: Yesterday a really good friend, who had not heard this story, asked me if I wanted to go see Madama Butterfly with him.

      I must have done something right in a previous life.

  7. October 28, 2009 at 12:53 am

    That second asterisk-note: may I borrow it?


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