In case you hadn’t noticed, I haven’t been posting much lately.
And yet, people still visit this page.
Yeah, I know. Crazy, eh?
I’m not usually one to go poking around through the visitor stats, but I was intrigued to know what was driving traffic to the page during my lengthy absence. So, while enjoying today’s executive lunch,* I decided to compile another list of Google searches that drove the public through the door of the Shoebox.
Well, at least the dirty squatters didn’t wreck the place.
1. sperm swimming
Some poor science student was probably doing research for a term paper, and instead found my story about Mr. Super Sperm and his amazing inpregnating abilities. Sorry ’bout that.
2. pissed off sesame street
Because some people get off on angry Muppets, I suppose. Or, they want to read my story about the drug dealer who lives upstairs from the Shoebox.
3. flintstones skiddly wah wah
On the other hand, I would totally search for the GREATEST EVER EPISODE of the Flintstones. Hot Lips Hannigan is the coolest cartoon character of all time, bar none.
But real men should not grow soul patches unless they fall into one of categories enumerated in my post on this important topic.
4. cute boys shirtless in hawaii
Sure, why not? If I had a few extra minutes on hand, I’d probably run this search. And this is what they found:
Uhhh…is it getting warmer in here? No? Just me?
5. john prats shirtless
Are you wondering what I’m wondering?
Why doesn’t anyone ever search for PANTLESS boys?
No wait, that’s not it.
Who the hell is JOHN PRATS?
According to Wikipedia:
John Paulo Quiambao Prats (born February 14, 1984 in Manila, Philippines) is a Filipino actor, dance icon, TV host, image model/endorser, (former) band drummer, car enthusiast and businessman.
Did you catch that?
And businessman. But mostly DANCE ICON.**
He is tagged as The Prince of Dance and Dancefloor Dynamite in the Philippines.
I had no idea.
Regardless of how you stumbled into this place, thanks for visiting. Many happy returns!
* Frantically spooning soup into my face as quickly as possible without dropping onto keyboard and/or shirt.
** I thought that Michael Flatley was a dance ICON, but apparently the Celtic step dancing phenomenon ended and no one told me.