Archive for February, 2011


Directionally challenged

I’ve become the kind of person who gets stopped on the street for directions.

“Where is the washroom?”

In the corner of the food court – next to the deli.

“How far is University Avenue from here?”

Two blocks east.

“Where is the nearest subway station?”

You’re standing on it.  The entrance is on the corner.

I think you get the picture.  I clearly look like someone who knows where I’m going and how to get there.

I attended a funeral last week.  It was the first time I had been to a funeral in years, let alone a church. 

I stood around outside the church before the ceremony.  I was uncomfortable.  I was nervous. I was surprised at my discomfort, because while I hadn’t been to a funeral recently, I attended many when I was younger.  I didn’t recall this feeling. 

It was a clear day and the sun poured in through the stained glass windows of the church.  There was a large organ, and music and singing.  And a big, loving family, and many friends.  Kind words were spoken.  Tears were shed, but there was a sense of belonging and an undercurrent of togetherness.  There was grief, but also a kind of joy in the knowledge that one person’s life can continue through others.

And it was then that I realized, taking all of this in — as though I was floating above it — that I realized that I had no idea where I was going.